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This Tribute was provided by Anthony Marsh:
Still Shocked



I only met Maria one time. I was invited to her home in Milford, NJ to do a landscape project somewhere aound July 2001. We hit it off right away. She was very straight forward and passionate about her ideas and listened very enthusiastically to my ideas. It was a coincidence that I went to NJ at all (my company is in PA) but it seemed her address was on the same road where my very first apartment had been. I vaguely knew the property and I was intrigued. We talked by phone a couple of times. She was always so busy with what seemed to be a very important job in NY so one thing led to another, we missed each others phone calls, and time flew by. Somewhere around November 2001, feeling as if I had totally dropped the ball, I picked up the Cantor Fitzgerald card from my desk and got an eerie feeling. "Cantor Fitzgerald".....why does that sound familiar other than when Maria briefly explained what she did when she handed it to me. I turned it over and called the home phone she had scribbled on the back expecting to leave an apologetic message. When the machine said "this mailbox is full" I felt really strange and didn't know exactly why. I had to call the work number although I never previously had.  A man answered "Cantor Fitzgerald" and when I asked for Maria there was a long silence. I knew he didn't hang up, and at that moment I understood deep inside what happened, why I knew the name "Cantor Fitzgerald", and what he would say next. He politely asked how I knew Maria and then explained that she had been in the Trade Center on September 11. He explained how he was actually in his car to work even though he was sick and turned around at the last minute. He sounded somewhat guilty about that.  That's when I knew that I would never understand fully what people who were directly affected by the tragedy felt. I was mad and scared and hateful and everything else that Americans felt....but not guilty or 100 other feelings that people in that exclusive club that they never wanted to be a part of felt. We exchanged a couple of memories about Maria's uniqueness and ended our call. I now knew someone who had perished in the attacks. I felt decidedly different. I felt I had known Maria more than I actually did. I felt connected to her somehow. I don't want to get rid Maria's business card. I finally visited Ground Zero Oct 8th 2006 with my new girlfriend Parris and pointed Maria's name out to her. Parris asked if I knew her...I said yes. I wondered if she had been upset with me the weeks before 9-11 for not getting back to her promptly (she was a stickler for that). Had she been excited about the project in her NJ house? She loved that house. She loved her cats. How do I know these things? Because Maria told me. I knew Maria Behr.



 




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